Relationship issues.

[Stang_1973]

Well I hate to bring this up but Im sorta a rookie at serious relationship issues.

I got with this girl in February. Supposedly she was mad crazy about me, and I was really into her. Im 22 and shes 19. Sa after about a month of back and forth we finally got together. Months went by and everything was great. Her family loves me, her friedns always say that im the best guy shes been with. then in june, she got a new job at the post office working night shift from 11pm to 8 am. Then her brother came back from being stationed. He was here for three weeks and during those weeks in definately got the drift that he didnt like me adn so did other people. It was right around this time that I noticed she started changing. She was alot colder, we were no longer intimate, she always gave me attitude, IDk. Something was up. Then after alot of pryig she finally tells me that she still loves me and still wants to be with m e but she doesnt know how she feels towards me. That its her, she doesnt know what she wants. The more i dug at itthe farther i pushed her away. Right now she says she needs space and time. for what I have no idea, she wont tell me or simply says "IDK"

My question is why? what causes this? have yall gone through it? what did you guys try and what were the outcomes?

[jstang6969]

Sorry to hear this. If shes that easily influenced by others, then better you found this out now rather than later. Personally I would give her the time apart, and whatever happens in the mean time might be better for you. You might realize that there is other serious issues with her that you could do without. You might even meet someone else in the mean time.

[02intrcptr]

^^^ I agree.

[1SLO85]

Everything happens for a reason.

[The Blue Beast]

Originally Posted by jstang6969

Sorry to hear this. If shes that easily influenced by others, then better you found this out now rather than later. Personally I would give her the time apart, and whatever happens in the mean time might be better for you. You might realize that there is other serious issues with her that you could do without. You might even meet someone else in the mean time.

that... was pretty damn well put. I dont think a girl could have said it better :P

[ChrisGT2000]

You will find out later in life that she won't be the only woman you go through this with I'm 32 and still women my age act like this yeah just let her have her space and think about what she wants and in the mean time do your thing and if something else better comes along her loss.

[jstang6969]

Originally Posted by The Blue Beast

that... was pretty damn well put. I dont think a girl could have said it better :P

[superGT2000]

i know what you have been going threw cuz i just went threw it....it sucks big balls but if she wants her space just give it to her...and don't call her...let her do the calling...act like if it doesn't bother you...your best bet is to leave her....its the best for you..

[FnSweet06]

i was going through the SAME deal.....yeah it sucked at first cause i wanted a reason of why, and wanted to call her/be with her but i got tired of her b/s and so i said NEXT!!! and now that im out and about w/ other girls NOW she wants to get back into my life.

[thunderchicken]

Well the way it sounds you did nothing wrong,And possibly the reason why her family and friends told you that you were the best boyfriend that she ever had,was maybe the reason that she could also be being this way,in other words you may be treating her better than she has been treated in the past,and she might not be use to that.So give her the space that she is requesting,and maybe she might realize what she is missing,But if it isn't meant to be,then it isn't,don't force anything,and let her come to you....

At the same time you need to go out and fun. Let her call and your to busy. It's that shes letting other people (seems mainly her brother) influence what she feels. Whatever reason he has to not like you (which cant be to much cause he doesnt seem to have gotten to know you) she seems to take that over you. So seeing you not be around is going to bother her. Dont get me wrong it may piss her off but its good because she needs to value you, and yes some woman like assholes. But in this case it doesnt seem you were a good thing and that got to her, it was something the brother did or said maybe. In the long run this is a test, and lets see what she chooses, if she doesnt choose you Im sorry and it will bother you but better now then years from now and it hurts worse. Maybe she just wants her freedom to do what she wants. In the long run you will know where you stand but dont hold your life waiting for someone who doesnt think enough of you, cause theres other woman who will want what you have to offer, and waiting on the wrong one can make you over look the right one as well. thats just my opinion. Lifes to short to be childish your not in highschool (though she just out and your still young) but thats all the more reason that she may not be able to handle a serious relationship. You need to think about what you want durning this time as well.

[CrewChiefLite]

Originally Posted by jstang6969

Sorry to hear this. If shes that easily influenced by others, then better you found this out now rather than later.

There's a big difference between "others" and her own brother. I'd bet he's known her a little longer than you have, so it's not that surprising that his opinion can have such a big sway on her feelings, especially if they were close. If I were you, and you truly do care about her, I'd talk to the brother, try to figure out why he doesn't like or approve of you, and maybe you can win him over. If you really are the best she's ever been with, then she may have been with some bad characters (not dissing you) and her brother may just assume you're another one without even knowing you. Big brothers can be pretty protective of their baby sisters. Just my .02.

[chewie]

This won't be your first and won't be the last. Cut away like a tangled up parachute, been there, done that, and take the advice you've been given here. GLTY

[SUfanINsa]

to answer your question probably all of us have gone through this at one point or another.....fish or cut bait! it is up to you but me personally i would go and bang one of her friends

[chewie]

Originally Posted by SUfanINsa

but me personally i would go and bang one of her friends

LOL...That's the spirit!

[jstang6969]

Originally Posted by CrewChiefLite

There's a big difference between "others" and her own brother.

True, but it depends on how he views it. Either way, Stang 1973 is not dating the brother.

[BigJnSA]

Originally Posted by SUfanINsa

...it is up to you but me personally i would go and bang one of her friends

LOL!

[superGT2000]

dude on the bright side now you are single!!!

[CrewChiefLite]

This thread almost makes me want to post a "how many of yall are single" thread

[Agent Jones]

Originally Posted by CrewChiefLite

This thread almost makes me want to post a "how many of yall are single" thread

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[Agent Jones]

Like you said you are 22, I know it may be hard if you feel deeply for her but you gotta move on. if your the best thing shes had, she will relize it and come crawling back. Then the ball is in your court. But like everyone else said it better to find out now then 5 years and 2 kids later!