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05-17-2008, 09:19 PM
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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: New Braunfels
Posts: 475
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what to do when the girl won't put out
This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humor!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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05-17-2008, 09:39 PM
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#2 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 712
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haha i like that good stuff
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05-17-2008, 09:42 PM
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#3 |
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paper stain
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: 09
Posts: 4,152
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 friggin funee
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05-17-2008, 09:46 PM
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#4 |
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Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Killeen, TX
Posts: 1,900
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That's damn good!
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2001 Premium Mustang GT Coupe 5 Speed Oxford White/Medium Parchement Leather |
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05-17-2008, 09:54 PM
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#5 | |
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I No Longer Lives in San Antonio!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 8,658
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funny but REPOST!
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OU > UT > TT  Quote:
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05-17-2008, 09:57 PM
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#6 |
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**PLAYER**
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Killeen, TX
Posts: 2,025
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05-17-2008, 10:27 PM
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#7 |
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Jus Workin Away !!!
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 1,795
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HAHAHAHAHAAAAA...
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05-17-2008, 10:42 PM
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#8 | |
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paper stain
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: 09
Posts: 4,152
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Quote:
 
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05-17-2008, 10:48 PM
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#9 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SA TOWN
Posts: 6,183
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i love this joke... super funny!!
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05-17-2008, 11:16 PM
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#10 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 122
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Oldie, but goodie......thanks for bringing it back - always makes me laugh.
Bird
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2001 F-150 Lightning - Bassani Exhaust, Hotchkiss TVS suspension, 14# boost, Shreve Performance tuning 93 Ranger Splash - SOHC 4.0, C4, M-112, Auburn 4.10 LS - it's finally running!!! 1998 SS Camaro - never knew killing Cobras could be so easy.............. 
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05-18-2008, 06:14 PM
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My name is Ed; Special Ed ... Like my helmet?
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 2,946
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That is hilarious!!!!
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We human beings are very funny: when something bad happens in our lives we say, "Why me? Why is this happening to me?" But when we wake up every morning and are alive and healthy and our family is well, we never say, "Why me? Why am I so fortunate?" 'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.' Quote:
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05-18-2008, 08:29 PM
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#12 |
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METAL!
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: north east s.a.
Posts: 494
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new to me. i think it s pretty damn funny.
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 getting there
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05-18-2008, 08:40 PM
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#13 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: San Antone
Posts: 4,554
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Repost but good one! ..i should try that next time were at Neiman Marcus
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05-18-2008, 10:19 PM
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#14 |
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LSS Sponsor
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: in a hole building transmissions
Posts: 3,682
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good one ......
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