where to retire???

[ezblonde]

Deciding Where to live after Retirement

You can live in Arizona where.....

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food
5. You know that 'dry heat' is comparable to what hits you in the face
when you open your oven door.
6 The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
ME??!!

You can Live in California where..

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it
will take to get there rather than how many miles away.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say 'the city' and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan
2. You can get into a 4 hour argument about how to get from Columbus
Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is 'nature,'
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Minnesota where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose and bear.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and road
repair.


You can Live in the Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. 'y'all' is singular and 'all y'all' is plural.
3. 'He needed killin'' is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob , Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
Jean, MARY BETH, etc.



You can live in Colorado where..
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops
at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.



You can live anywhere in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: 'Where's my coat at?'
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, 'It was
different!'



Or You can live in Florida where..

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

[Graves]

Road construction never ends anywhere in the state = San Antonio.

[X2CRAYZIX]

road work is where ever you go lived IN PA for two years and in ththose two years they finished a road and then shut it down and started again

[lilblue302]

Originally Posted by ezblonde

Deciding Where to live after Retirement


2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
the toilet bowl.

ROFL! i have that here cuz the tards who plumbed my apt hooked the toilet up to the hot water

[MrsBigJnSA]

Good read!!

[cobrachris97]

Originally Posted by Graves

Road construction never ends anywhere in the state = San Antonio.

no lie there and by the time they get done it won't be enough to take all the traffic.

[garbonzo1991gt]

I think Chicago's official city flower is the orange road cone.

[04Roush2]

[TheDan]

Thats hysterical, you have no idea I have looked at the car in front me and said " Is there anyone in that thing?"

Althought I dont see too much traffic in FL